As was seen in Wednesday Q & A it may be hard to express how you feel. But as was said in Wednesday Q & A communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship.  You need to feel that you have been heard. Being able to say what you want and need from the people around you is important to help you grow and become the person you want aim to be.

Right now you may be curious what this has to do with inspiration, I’m here to tell you that you possess the ability within you to say what you feel and be heard. You want to make sure when you are communicating, you do it  in a healthy way. This will help you to achieve your goals more thoroughly.

How can you become a more healthy communicator?

-Always ask questions

If you aren’t sure why someone did something, ask them to tell you

-Make sure that you stay away from blaming

If you start pointing fingers you’ll see the other person’s eyes rolling and most likely lose them within five seconds of speaking

-If you have to speak in a tone addressing someone, make sure you do it in a way that they can take in and comprehend what you are saying

Let’s say someone at work isn’t doing their part, to address them, ask them why they are behaving in the way they are, and tell them how what they are doing is effecting you achieving what you want.

I met some family members for lunch a few Sunday’s ago. My brother in law and his girlfriend had beat us there and already been through a cup of cheese dip which I was longing for. I ordered my cheese dip to realize their were no chips left and we must have sat there for ten minutes with hard top layer covered cheese dip without anyone making sure we were okay.

My husband didn’t say anything, and no one else at the table did either. Instead of just sitting there and wondering when and if anyone would say anything, I asked a different waiter to get us more chips when another ten minutes had passed. At this point, I was genuinely trying not to be angry. And no one else at the table would do a darn thing. So this post is for men and women alike. For people to understand when you should be assertive and when you shouldn’t.

1.) Let your man do the talking. He is a man, therefore he feels the need to be the one that is in control. If he has a hard time being assertive, help him to do it and after he does, tell him how good it made you feel that he did so. This will not only caress his ego, but make him more likely to do so in the future. Also, if a man senses that you are the one being assertive and he feels his masculinity is being threatened, he’s most likely sure to jump in and try to “be a man”.

2.) Allow yourself to stick up for you. The more you stick up for yourself the more likely other people won’t try to take advantage of you. This does not mean that every time someone tells you about a fault you have to be defensive, but more so, if someone is bullying you to let them know that you can stick up for yourself.

Many women have a hard time doing this because they don’t want to disappoint another person. Learning to listen to your inner being and knowing how something someone does or doesn’t do, makes you closer to your inner you. Which helps you to be a healthy, strong, and confident woman/man.

3.) If you don’t like something, tell others. This does not mean you should start saying inappropriate things to your boss, friends or loved ones. What this means is that if you don’t like something or would like something to change, you have the control in your hands. And if you communicate in a loving way, people are likely to listen.

A friend of  mine was recently on the verge of quitting her part time job. Her anger about a new hire, when she was thought and most likely was far more qualified made her outraged. What was worse was that she felt like she could not communicate with the people who were higher up than her.

After I spoke with her and told her that possibly if she communicated what she would like from the situation, she would see a result, she did so. Saying later she would put her two week notice in. This was on a Thursday, I saw her again the following Saturday at which point she told me her job had gone full time. By expressing her need/desire to have more hours and to show her abilities, even when she thought it was still a flop, she left with a full time job the next day.

4.) Know when enough is enough. After trying over and over again to make her relationship work with a man who always did what he wanted to, Amy became fed-up. Each time she would try to compromise, the man with whom she was in a relationship with, wouldn’t do the same. After putting her friends on the back burner and either missing activities of her own for him, or not getting to spend time with people she cared about, Amy realized she had, had enough.

You have to listen to your inner you. People will try to take advantage of you if they can, however, having the confidence to stand up for yourself and doing what you want to do instead of being bullied, will help you get on the right track. Knowing  when you don’t like something and having the ability to do something about it makes you a stronger person. Just make sure you don’t end up becoming too outspoken, because when that happens you are hardly ever heard. You don’t have to use karate techniques on people for them to understand you are willing to stand your ground.

Have an inspirational Monday and remember to always stick up for you!

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